Well, this is how Brooklyn feels about the current financial crisis. I took this photo yesterday in my neighborhood. In New York there’s an undercurrent of satisfaction among the creative class. They feel they might get their city back.

Earlier today I wrote a long and emotional post about my election-related misery. You will never see this post for two reasons:

1. My friend, Jesse, reminded me that my hatred for the Republicans and Sarah Palin actually has nothing to do with either (hard to believe) and everything about what they’ve tapped into inside of me. He reminded me of the words of Shunryu Suzuki: “Things that look like they exist outside are actually existing inside ourselves. When you think, ‘He is not good,’ you are actually criticizing someone within yourself. It is a picture of you.” Much as I hate to admit it, I know he’s right. There is nothing inherently bad about any of these people or their actions. “You hate your inner Palin,” he wisely corrected with five words that instantly dissolved my 1,000-word rant.

2. As Jesse also points out, there’s no time for complaining. I don’t need to add to the steady stream of negativity out there already. I have spent the last 48-hours online looking for sympathy or something that might make me feel better about the direction things are headed. I have seen a lot of evidence that we’re all suffering. The references to sleepless nights and crying are freakishly high and very similar. So we’re all lying around tired and puffy-eyed, and without a real solution. For that reason, I will spare you my screed and hope that in doing so, our collective load will lighten.

So while I feel like yelling and pointing fingers and scratching out eyeballs…and yes, crying…I will turn that energy into something productive. Maybe I’ll investigate what it is about Palin that makes me so angry. Maybe if I get to the bottom of it, I will release some sort of pressure valve. Maybe she’ll stop looking so evil to me if I am honest about the fact that she reminds me a little of myself. Not in a librarian-firing, choice-hating, hypocritical, aggressive, pitbull-with-lipstick kind of way, but in that she is trying to get ahead in the world, trying to make a difference and committed to her own beliefs to a maybe-dangerous degree. Let’s face it: We’ve all been that person. I know I have.

The bottom line is that Sarah reminds me of the me I used to be before I started taking responsibility for my thoughts and actions. It kills me that she is having “success” in the world and being “lauded” as a change-maker, when I often feel my own efforts to change myself and the world around me have fallen on deaf ears (maybe even like this and all my posts). I hate my inner Palin because I have been fighting her desire for attention and approval, for years.

Sarah, I will stop hating you now. You’re living life the best you know how–just like all of us. You’ve reminded me of the approval-seeking, opinionated, scared girl I once was, and still have inside me. I guess I should thank you for that. Now that I see her, I can deal with her…maybe even forgive her.

Now will that make you go away?
Baby steps. Baby steps.